Tuesday, January 11, 2005
The da Vinci Coda Sample #2
It is always a great challenge to write new lyrics for Marty Haugen songs, because his standards are so high. Here we’ve done what we could to make his “Gather Us In” more fully reflect Dan Brown’s truth to us.
Here in our heads a new faith is waking,
Our hearts are gladdened by what we have read;
The implications are simply earth-shaking:
Jesus Christ never arose from the dead!
Draw us all in, the naïve and the trusting;
Draw us all in, we’re mentally lame;
We once held the faith Dan Brown’s busy busting,
‘Til his revelation and fortune and fame.
Jesus, the son of Joseph and Mary,
Just like his father took himself a wife.
Mary of Magdalene did he marry,
And they had quite a tumultuous life.
Draw us all in, we’re horribly stupid;
Draw us all in, we love good romance;
We’re oh-so-happy to hear it was Cupid
That pierced Jesus’ heart, not just some soldier’s lance.
After that great big misunderstanding
On what came to be called Good Friday,
They took a cruise and ended up landing
Near the Riviera, where they chose to stay.
Draw us all in, we know zero hist’ry;
Draw us all in, we’re credulous fools.
We love the air of learning and myst’ry,
And, even more, throwing out Catholic rules.
Centuries later at the Nicene council
Repressed old men, “Fathers of the Church”
Decided the time was right to pounce “We’ll
Impose new religion, leave them in the lurch.”
Draw us all in, conspiracies beckon;
Draw us all in, while we sing this song,
It really isn’t that farfetched, I reckon,
Since it passes by all that old right-and-wrong.
The Merovingians and Priory of Sion
Still knew the truth, but they stayed under wraps.
Everyone else forever’s been lyin’
Until Leonardo left those little maps.
Draw us all in, we love to look at art;
Draw us all in, it’s just like TV.
If we read this we’ll think that we’re so smart
Even if our IQ is below eighty-three.
A few brave souls try to get the word out
About how the Church is all built on a lie,
But since they brook neither dissent nor doubt
Opus Dei assassins will make them all die!
Draw us all in, we always suspected
The Church was a scam, and now we are sure.
We’re hoping this has finally wrecked it:
Religion’s the sickness and we are the cure!
Here in our heads a new faith is waking,
Our hearts are gladdened by what we have read;
The implications are simply earth-shaking:
Jesus Christ never arose from the dead!
Draw us all in, the naïve and the trusting;
Draw us all in, we’re mentally lame;
We once held the faith Dan Brown’s busy busting,
‘Til his revelation and fortune and fame.
Jesus, the son of Joseph and Mary,
Just like his father took himself a wife.
Mary of Magdalene did he marry,
And they had quite a tumultuous life.
Draw us all in, we’re horribly stupid;
Draw us all in, we love good romance;
We’re oh-so-happy to hear it was Cupid
That pierced Jesus’ heart, not just some soldier’s lance.
After that great big misunderstanding
On what came to be called Good Friday,
They took a cruise and ended up landing
Near the Riviera, where they chose to stay.
Draw us all in, we know zero hist’ry;
Draw us all in, we’re credulous fools.
We love the air of learning and myst’ry,
And, even more, throwing out Catholic rules.
Centuries later at the Nicene council
Repressed old men, “Fathers of the Church”
Decided the time was right to pounce “We’ll
Impose new religion, leave them in the lurch.”
Draw us all in, conspiracies beckon;
Draw us all in, while we sing this song,
It really isn’t that farfetched, I reckon,
Since it passes by all that old right-and-wrong.
The Merovingians and Priory of Sion
Still knew the truth, but they stayed under wraps.
Everyone else forever’s been lyin’
Until Leonardo left those little maps.
Draw us all in, we love to look at art;
Draw us all in, it’s just like TV.
If we read this we’ll think that we’re so smart
Even if our IQ is below eighty-three.
A few brave souls try to get the word out
About how the Church is all built on a lie,
But since they brook neither dissent nor doubt
Opus Dei assassins will make them all die!
Draw us all in, we always suspected
The Church was a scam, and now we are sure.
We’re hoping this has finally wrecked it:
Religion’s the sickness and we are the cure!
